You Might be a Crybaby Trucker if...

Back in the day, truckers were the kings of the open road. They didn’t need creature comforts or high-tech gadgets—they just needed a map, a CB radio, and nerves of steel. But today’s truckers? Let’s just say things have changed. If you’ve ever wondered if modern trucking has gone soft, here’s a little test for you, you might be a crybaby trucker if…

You Won’t Drive Without Wi-Fi

If you refuse to roll a single mile until your Netflix is streaming in HD...
You might be a crybaby.

Old-school truckers didn’t need Wi-Fi; they had a CB radio and conversations like:
“Breaker, breaker, Smokey’s up ahead at mile marker 234.”
Now? It’s:
“Breaker, breaker, my Wi-Fi’s down, and I can’t post my load on Instagram!”

Your Seat Has More Features Than a La-Z-Boy

If your truck seat has lumbar support, heating, cooling, and memory foam cushioning…
You might be a crybaby.

Back in the day, truckers sat on vinyl seats harder than their mother-in-law’s meatloaf. Now it’s:
“This seat doesn’t recline far enough for my meditation breaks!”

You Complain About Truck Stop Food

If you’ve ever said, “How does this place not have oat milk or gluten-free wraps?”…
You might be a crybaby.

Truck stops used to serve coffee so thick it could unclog your carburetor and burgers so greasy they doubled as WD-40. Now? Someone’s probably leaving a Yelp review about the lack of vegan options.

You Have an App for Everything

If your phone has apps for route planning, weather updates, bathroom reviews, and snack suggestions…
You might be a crybaby.

Back in the day, your weather app was sticking your hand out the window. Your route planner? Following the guy in front of you. Your snack suggestion? Whatever hadn’t expired at the last gas station.

You Need a Nap Because of Your ELD

If you’ve ever said, “I can’t finish this trip because my Electronic Logging Device says I’m out of hours”…
You might be a crybaby.

Old-school truckers didn’t need no stinkin’ ELD! They’d drive 20 hours straight, fueled by black coffee and determination. Now, it’s:
“Sorry, boss, my ELD says it’s nap time, and I don’t want to get fined!”

You Complain About the A/C

If you’ve ever pulled over because the A/C wasn’t blowing cold enough…
You might be a crybaby.

Once upon a time, truckers cooled down by rolling down the windows and driving faster. Now, it’s:
“Dispatch, I’m gonna need a new rig. This one’s A/C dropped to 72 degrees, and I’m practically melting.”

You Call Dispatch About Everything

If you call dispatch to complain about traffic, bad coffee, or a suspicious burrito…
You might be a crybaby.

Back in the day, dispatch didn’t want to hear your problems. Now, it’s:
“Hey, uh, can you route me around this construction zone? And while you’re at it, could you Google the nearest spa with parking for my rig?”

Are Truckers Really Crybabies?

Now, before you start yelling at your screen, let’s be fair. Trucking has changed, and so has the world. Modern trucking is more demanding, the rules are tighter, and the highways are busier. Maybe truckers aren’t all crybabies—they’re just adapting to the times.

But if you’re complaining because your truck stop latte didn’t have enough foam… yeah, you might be a crybaby trucker.

Final Thoughts

So whether you’re an old-school road warrior or a modern trucker with kale chips in your glove box, remember: the open road is big enough for all of us. Just try not to cry too hard when the Wi-Fi goes out—there’s always the CB radio.

If you aren’t a crybaby, apply with Bloom, our drivers average $3,000 plus a week take home pay after all expenses, like fuel, truck rent, etc. If you have Grit, and the endurance to consistently deliver loads and run for at least three weeks at a time, you can take home $150K a year. If you are interested, apply now, just don’t be a crybaby.